September funnies

• "This is just like riding horses with Mom in Utah — except if I fall off, I'm much closer to the ground."
• "See, Grandpa, you really could have fit me in your carry-on when you went on your cruise."
• "The only thing that could make this any better is if I was riding this on the luggage carousel at the Newark airport!"

• "We've got a secret and we're not telling — OK, we will. We hid our moms' car keys in the dishwasher."

• "I'll tell you what's so funny — I can't even read, but I sure as heck know that Nets fabric behind me is hanging upside down!"
• "Let me scream it out one more time in case you didn't hear me — IT'S 2:30 IN THE MORNING AND I'M LOVIN' LIFE. HOW ABOUT YOU?"
• "Stop me if you heard this one ... A young mother comes into her infant son's bedroom and asks 'What is this strange child doing in the crib?' And her husband replies, 'Well, dear, you did ask me to change the baby.' "