November 2010 - cell-phone photos

• " . . . one, two, fwee, fouw . . . one, two, fwee, fouw — I think there's four leaves here, but only because I can't count any higher."
• "You know, Leaf, you looked much prettier up in the tree."
• "It looks and feels crunchy — I wonder how it tastes?"

• "I feel like an umpire at a baseball game — 'Batter up!' "
• "You say it tastes even better when it gets cooked in the oven? No way!"
• "My tongue feels like it's trying to get the batter to break out of jail."
• "Maybe if I twist it just right, I can get the whole thing in my mouth."

• "The bad thing about some of these sipper-cup lids is that you can't see what you're drinking. Who knows — this could be something my mom has left lying around for days, and I might end up chugging a cup of curdled milk."
• "I tried to make my own breakfast drink today. The milk comes out of the sipper cup just fine, but for some reason I'm not getting any of the Cheerios."

• "My philosophy: why dirty up a clean glass when you can go direct to the source."
• "It's all right, Mom — I see Dad do this all the time."
• "You think this with the juice jug is startling, you ought to see what I've done with the margarine!"
• "What's this new word you're saying . . . 'backwash?' "
• "I'm thinking they ought to see M&Ms in these kinds of plastic jugs."
• "Oh, you think you're bothered by this sight — just wait until I tip the jug up high!"

October 2010 - Halloween party

• "Call this my 'playing career baby steps' — before you can walk out onto the court, fill the lane on the fast break or run out of the tunnel, you've got to first learn how to walk. And I'm learning in style!"
• "Hey, Dad, this is how I'm gonna celebrate my first 'monster jam' — of course, I'll need a vertical leap even higher than my height right now, won't I?"

• Wow, now that's what I call a headband — I wonder how that would fly in the NBA?"

• "OK, everybody, party's over — time to put up the chairs and tables and clear out. Me and the guys have a little hoops to play.

• "OK, OK, enough of the jokes. I mean, really now, have you seen my grandpa?

October 2010 - Hangin' around

• "Dang, I'm having a hard enough time trying to reach the turn signal, to say nothing about the shift stick or the pedals."
• "Hey, those buttons and knobs look like they need to be pushed and turned. I'm sure my parents won't mind — and they probably won't notice, either."

• "Now all I need is a little strapping tape, a little postage and someone to write 'Taylors — Provo, Utah' on the top."
• "They say you need a little creativity in your playtime, so today I'm pretending to be a packing peanut — a very, very big packing peanut."

• " 'Hey, warden! Warden! I want to complain about the conditions and workload in the slammer here. I wanna talk to my lawyer — do you hear me, warden?' . . . uh, Mom, I was talking to YOU!"

• "Oh, yeah, I feel a whole lot safer up here from the neighbor's dog and the squirrels across the street — DO YOU HEAR THAT, SPOT? DO YOU HEAR THAT, SQUIRRELS? I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU NOW!"
• "Sorry, Tex, I'd like to be helping you buck the hay bales, but you see I'm too short to get out of the truck."

• "So, if I continue to play cute for the camera, does that earn me an extra cookie or a handful of M&Ms?"

October 2010 - NYC photo shoot

• "Hey, cue up the BeeGees and I'm John Travolta in 'Saturday Night Fever' . . . (singing) 'Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man; no time to talk — ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive!' "

• "Yeah, Dad, just think — pretty soon I'll be walking on my own, then running around on my own, and you'll be trying to reach down and catch me. Yeah, that'll be fun, won't it, Dad? Right, Dad?"

• "Hey, Mom, I'll be you didn't think I could whistle and shout 'Taxi!' the first time I tried, did you? And did you see the dirty look the taxi driver gave you?"

• "Uh, think about it for a sec, Mom — don't you think a back scratch would feel better if you used your fingers? I mean, I'm just saying."

• "Help, Dad, please — I think they're going for one of those mushy, cuddle-with-Mom shots again."

• (singing) " 'Everybody look left, everybody look right, everywhere you look I'm standing in the spotlight . . . oh, I just can't wait to be king!' . . . . Oh, yeah, I'm ready for Broadway, baby!"

• "That's more like it, a little more Carter-time with the camera."

October 2010 - Eat it!

• "Yeah, Grandma, sometimes when I play with my food, I use it to see what I might look like in the future . . . so, what do you think I'd look like with a goatee? And in a second I'll show you what I'd look like with chest hair."
• "You guys promised I'd get a large cone — this one appears more on the small-to-medium range."
• "Wait a dog-gone minute — someone's been sampling my cone . . . . Oh, uh, I guess it was me. Nevermind."
• "Hey — I don't see any artificial coloring or additives and I don't taste any artificial flavoring? What kind of dessert is this anyway?"

• "Hey, camera guy, if you make them hold this pose another 10 seconds, I'll be able to finish off my grandma's cone without her noticing!"

• "So, Mom, that little tantrum I threw in the grocery store's bakery section turned out OK didn't it? I mean, that's all in the past — forgive and forget, right? Mom? Mom? Uh, Mom?"
• "Of course, I enjoy the free bakery samples when we go to the grocery story, but I was really hoping the guy in the meats section was going to grill me up a nice, juicy steak!"

I'm back . . . almost

OK, so I've been AWOB (absent without blogging) for a few months. I was being empathetic to my Grandpa Taylor, who was out after surgery and who lost a lot of personal history documents and photo files — including lots of pictures of me! - when he moved a bunch of files from his to a bad flash drive a couple of months ago.

Anyway, I've got a lot of catching up to do with a bunch of photos - including a trip to Utah over the holidays. Be watching for a lot of posts over the next few days.

As you can tell from my new blog header, I'm back with a . . . (wait for it) . . . REVENGE-ance!

-- Carter

The key is ... in the ignition

• "OK, the car key goes here, and you turn it this way to start the car -- YES! Now, if i remember watching Mom, I put the car in gear and start cussing at the other drivers."
• I've got the steering wheel and ignition down -- man, if only my feet reached the pedals!"
• "I'll hide my Mom's keys in the ignition — she'll never think to look for them here."
• "OK, now I've got the keys in the car, all I have to do is hit the door locks, and I'm good for several hours of peace and quiet, all by myself."

Box on

• "Some parents put unruly kids in a corner, others in another room. My 'time out' is in a cardboard box."
• "All I need is someone to put a lid on me, wrap me up, stick on the appropriate postage and mail me to Provo, Utah."
• "Mom, Dad, this isn't what I had in mind when I asked for my own room."

Out and about

• "Twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty! Ready or not here I come — wait, you guys just don't get the concept of 'hide and seek,' do you?"
• "Maybe if I continue to pretend I'm asleep or play dead, these guys will leave me alone."

• "Oh, Mom! I'm not even 14 months old, and I've been infected with girl cooties. I'm gonna die young, aren't I?"

• "I was hoping these would say "Magic Marker" or "Sharpie" or "permanent" — darn! Oh, well, I'll keep practicing my autograph just the same."

• "OK, Grandpa, I'm here to work on the gopher problem you've got in the backyard."
• "Hey, Mom, this gives me an idea how to handle my dirty diapers in the future."
• "I'm gonna see if I can rent this next weekend and take it out to the beach!"
• "I'm doing everything that Uncle Braden showed me last time he took me out for a ride in the car — all the way on the gas pedal, ignore the brake pedal, crank up the stereo and wave at the babes. The only thing different for me is I'm putting my hands on the steering wheel!"

Pumpkinland!

• "That's what I'm telling you, Mom. All these guys are my friends. And they all have the same name — Jack O. Lantern. And they all have the same blank look on their faces because somebody buried them up to their necks in this field. Really — you've got to believe me!"

• "Run for the car, Mom! I'm pretty sure I saw some of those bigger pumpkins start to roll toward us."

• "And now for my next number, I will recite an original poem:

The creepy, cutie spider — by Carter Jensen

The creepy, cutie spider crawled up the pumpkin stem,

Down came the rain and washed him off again,

Out came the sun and dried up all the rain,

And the creepy cutie spider? I hissed and squashed him dead.

• "Nope, not gonna look or smile until you get that bigger pumpkin I wanted."
• "Hey, Mom, isn't that our car rolling out of the parking lot over there?"

• "OK, I'll tell you what I'm thinking — if this guy doesn't get his arm off me soon, he'll be pulling it back with teeth marks all over it. I'm telling you, I need my personal space!"
• "Wait! We haven't all decided which of the three cameras to look at yet!"