Four February fotos

• "Uh, no. You're gonna have to come get me."
• "Uh, still no. You're gonna have to bribe me."
• "Uh, no way. If God wanted us to be sliding all the time, he would have given us Teflon butts."

• "I'm dreaming of holding a big bag full of treats and prizes. . . . I'm dreaming of holding a big bag full of treats and prizes . . . . and if this works out, I'll start dreaming of flying to Utah!"

• "Oh, yeah, I'm not too proud to admit that I'm the one who taught Jimmer how to Jimmer."
• "Just think, Dad, watching Jimmer bomb away in the Bronx could make it fun to be a Nets fan again, wouldn't it?"
• "Hey, how come you get all the love and attention wearing the BYU/Jimmer jersey, and I'm still resigned to sporting the old Nets gear?"

• "Yeah, Dad, it's lonely being a Nets fan, isn't it?"
• "No, really, I'm almost positive I saw a 'Toys-R-Us' booth down here a little farther."
• "If we always have to walk off these Net losses, we're going to be a couple of really fit guys, aren't we, Dad?"

Five February fotos

• "See, Grandpa, I told you a grew a half a balloon taller since last month."
• "Grandpa, I don't know if I really like having watched the 'Up' video with you again this week . . . and what's that other two-dozen balloons in the kitchen for, anyways?"
• "This is kind of an expensive and time-consuming way to give your favorite grandson a wedgie, isn't it, Grandpa? And so much for the element of surprise, too."

• "Why do the older girls always think they have to drive?"
• No, Riley, I have NO IDEA WHATSOEVER about what might have happened to the Justin Bieber CD that was in the dashboard player earlier."
• "Are you sure this is how Uncle Braden got his start with his learner's permit?"

• "Uh, time out! Gotta breathe here!"
• "You know, I don't mind cuddling with the girls, but to be seen doing it while sitting in the stroller just doesn't jive with my street cred, if you know what I mean."

• "With my new-found ability to reach the doorknob and open doors, I'm ready to go out on my own into the world — just as soon as I can find something other than this flower-design diaper to wear."

Nothing but Nets?

• "Here I sit, with the typical Nets crowd. Oh, wait, it's Fan Appreciation Night?"

• "Knicks fans and Nets fans socializing together? Standing side-by-side and smiling for the camera? That's like trying to get the Hatfields and McCoys together for a Sunday brunch. Pssst, Mom ... Dad ... there's three of us and only two of them — let's jump 'em. I'll work on biting their ankles."

• "What? No D-Will jerseys available? Oh, I predict you'll soon have a big demand."
• "Yeah, these are arm bands and they're on my arms — no, they're not fabric water wings. You wanna make something of it, buddy?"
• "Whadda mean you're all out of M&Ms and animal crackers?"

• "I don't care if we're still a half-hour away from tip-off — I've seen enough and I wanna go home."
• "I think I'm starting to become a Nets fan, Daddy — I need intervention and a hug!"

* Thanks to Ty for letting us tease about the Nets. As a Jazz fan this year, we feel your pain — but will gladly accept your 2011 NBA Draft lottery pick.

Basketball Jonesin'

• "This is great, but if we had two, we could play full-court."
• "I think this is a child-proof box — let's git 'er opened up!"

• "It's not only just in the flick of the wrist, it's in the facial expression, too!"
• "It's not just scoring that's important, it's also how you look in doing that. I've learned that from SportsCenter."

• "I know it's hard to believe, but I taught Jimmer how to Jimmer."
• "Now that I've got this range down, I'm heading back to half-court — also known as 'half-couch.' "

• "Babe Ruth made calling his home run shot famous in baseball. I'm going to make calling my living room shot famous in basketball."
• "Mom, I've dunked on you five straight times, so I've only got one thing to say to you ... 'WARM UP THE BUS! WARM UP THE BUS!"

March Madness II

• "Oh, yeah, tell me about it — I had one of those animal-face caps that my Mom bought for me and made me wear. Moms love them - they say 'you're so cute.' But I think they make our dads cringe when we wear them. And I don't know which one is more awkward - my pig or your monkey. Listen, here's what you've gotta do — find a place to stash them or hide them or anything and hope you'll grow out of them before their found again. Or hope for a younger sibling to come along soon — it's gotta be one of your first hand-me-downs."

• "I'm telling you, you've got to lose the cap — the animal ears are not very aerodynamic and create a real drag when you're trying to go down the slide."

• "Now these are my kind of speed bumps!"

• "Yeah, that's my pig-face cap down there at the bottom of the drain. Just don't tell my Mom."

• "Are you training for the World Wrestling Federation or are you really just happy to see me?"
• "Hey, hey, hey - gotta breathe here."

More February fotos

• "Getting caught with the candy hearts? Oh, no, the real surprise comes when you realize I'm just sucking on them for a couple of minutes and then sticking them back in the box."
• "I'm practicing my self-control and only eating the candy hearts that have a vowel printed on them."

• Dogs? Phooey! A man's best friends is the TV remote!"
• "What's this show Dad's been watching? 'Vampire Sorority Babes'?"
• "Hey, who put the parental lock on 'Elmo' anyway?"

• "Just three more to go and then I will have earned my window-washing merit badge."
• "I vaguely remember dropping Mom's car keys somewhere out there in the snow in the backyard, but I'm not exactly sure where."
• "I wonder if this window sill is OSHA-approved?"

• "... and then I said, 'Mom, how was I supposed to know I wasn't supposed to put Disney DVDs in the toaster.' "
• "Yeah, Dad, I know how you feel — was hoping for Cafe Rio tonight instead of tuna casserole."
• "I just had this terrible nightmare that I wasn't going to be a spoiled, only child and that I would at some point in my life have to share toys, attention and the spotlight. Wow — talk about scary! Dad, please tell me it was only a dream."
• "I'm sorry, Dad, but when you were talking about gas additives for the car, I thought you said 'TP' and not 'STP.' "

Five January pics - part I

• "Oh, the driveway's almost done and there are no "little guy" snowshovels available to use? Be still, my broken heart."

• "Some kids get sent to their room for time out. I get sent to a cardboard box."
• "Hey, Mom and Dad, when I said I wanted my own room, I was thinking of something a little bigger."
• "Hey, Mom and Dad, when I said I wanted to try a little boxing with my friends, this isn't what I had in mind."
• I need a change of scenery. Just put a lid on me a stamp on top of that and ship me off to Utah, please."

• "I wanna be like Mary Poppins and have my horse just jump off the merry-go-round and head off over there!"
• "The merry-go-round here and the food court over there ... yep, when I grow up, I wanna be a mall cop!

"It's fun to be up here and look down at the top of people's heads, rather than look up at the bottom of people's noses."

• "And please, God, bless my Daddy to wake up and turn switch over from the Nets broadcast so I can watch something interesting . . . . and bless me with Jimmer's range and touch . . . and bless it so that the socks I flushed away won't clog the toilet . . . "

Snow days

• "All I said was, 'And Carter shoots a frozen rope . . . ' and look what happened!"
• "I keep tellin' ya, this wouldn't happen if we had an indoor court."
• "Hey, it's stuck!"

• "Hey, now I'm stuck!"
• "Measure me now, Dad - I think I'm almost as tall as you are."
• "Hey, Dad, I dare you to stick your tongue on that light pole over there — I TRIPLE DOG DARE you!"

• "You may think I look funny sitting up on on this tall snowbank. The really funny thing is that I'm actually sitting on Mom's shoulders."

More January pics

• "I'm just checking to see if any of these dust bunnies doubles as the Easter Bunny."
• "Yeah, Mom, I thought I was ready to sleep on a big boy's bed, too — guess not, huh?"
• "Mom, it's no fun when you bring along the camera when we play hide-and-seek, because you document all my best hiding places."

• "Don't you mean to say 'Carter, do you like to roll around in what USED TO BE the clean clothes fresh out of the dryer'?"
• "I thought I would dress up as a load of laundry for Halloween and I'm just trying on my costume a little early."

New Years Eve

• "Listen, hugs from an aunt are good and all, but I'm really hoping to spend time with the confetti cannons and noisemakers before I go to bed."

• "This looks like a really nice New Year's Eve meal, but I don't see a place for me!"
• "I don't have the heart to tell them I just ordered five large pizzas to be delivered — and charged it on Dad's credit card."