Basketball Jonesin'

• "This is great, but if we had two, we could play full-court."
• "I think this is a child-proof box — let's git 'er opened up!"

• "It's not only just in the flick of the wrist, it's in the facial expression, too!"
• "It's not just scoring that's important, it's also how you look in doing that. I've learned that from SportsCenter."

• "I know it's hard to believe, but I taught Jimmer how to Jimmer."
• "Now that I've got this range down, I'm heading back to half-court — also known as 'half-couch.' "

• "Babe Ruth made calling his home run shot famous in baseball. I'm going to make calling my living room shot famous in basketball."
• "Mom, I've dunked on you five straight times, so I've only got one thing to say to you ... 'WARM UP THE BUS! WARM UP THE BUS!"

March Madness II

• "Oh, yeah, tell me about it — I had one of those animal-face caps that my Mom bought for me and made me wear. Moms love them - they say 'you're so cute.' But I think they make our dads cringe when we wear them. And I don't know which one is more awkward - my pig or your monkey. Listen, here's what you've gotta do — find a place to stash them or hide them or anything and hope you'll grow out of them before their found again. Or hope for a younger sibling to come along soon — it's gotta be one of your first hand-me-downs."

• "I'm telling you, you've got to lose the cap — the animal ears are not very aerodynamic and create a real drag when you're trying to go down the slide."

• "Now these are my kind of speed bumps!"

• "Yeah, that's my pig-face cap down there at the bottom of the drain. Just don't tell my Mom."

• "Are you training for the World Wrestling Federation or are you really just happy to see me?"
• "Hey, hey, hey - gotta breathe here."

More February fotos

• "Getting caught with the candy hearts? Oh, no, the real surprise comes when you realize I'm just sucking on them for a couple of minutes and then sticking them back in the box."
• "I'm practicing my self-control and only eating the candy hearts that have a vowel printed on them."

• Dogs? Phooey! A man's best friends is the TV remote!"
• "What's this show Dad's been watching? 'Vampire Sorority Babes'?"
• "Hey, who put the parental lock on 'Elmo' anyway?"

• "Just three more to go and then I will have earned my window-washing merit badge."
• "I vaguely remember dropping Mom's car keys somewhere out there in the snow in the backyard, but I'm not exactly sure where."
• "I wonder if this window sill is OSHA-approved?"

• "... and then I said, 'Mom, how was I supposed to know I wasn't supposed to put Disney DVDs in the toaster.' "
• "Yeah, Dad, I know how you feel — was hoping for Cafe Rio tonight instead of tuna casserole."
• "I just had this terrible nightmare that I wasn't going to be a spoiled, only child and that I would at some point in my life have to share toys, attention and the spotlight. Wow — talk about scary! Dad, please tell me it was only a dream."
• "I'm sorry, Dad, but when you were talking about gas additives for the car, I thought you said 'TP' and not 'STP.' "

Five January pics - part I

• "Oh, the driveway's almost done and there are no "little guy" snowshovels available to use? Be still, my broken heart."

• "Some kids get sent to their room for time out. I get sent to a cardboard box."
• "Hey, Mom and Dad, when I said I wanted my own room, I was thinking of something a little bigger."
• "Hey, Mom and Dad, when I said I wanted to try a little boxing with my friends, this isn't what I had in mind."
• I need a change of scenery. Just put a lid on me a stamp on top of that and ship me off to Utah, please."

• "I wanna be like Mary Poppins and have my horse just jump off the merry-go-round and head off over there!"
• "The merry-go-round here and the food court over there ... yep, when I grow up, I wanna be a mall cop!

"It's fun to be up here and look down at the top of people's heads, rather than look up at the bottom of people's noses."

• "And please, God, bless my Daddy to wake up and turn switch over from the Nets broadcast so I can watch something interesting . . . . and bless me with Jimmer's range and touch . . . and bless it so that the socks I flushed away won't clog the toilet . . . "

Snow days

• "All I said was, 'And Carter shoots a frozen rope . . . ' and look what happened!"
• "I keep tellin' ya, this wouldn't happen if we had an indoor court."
• "Hey, it's stuck!"

• "Hey, now I'm stuck!"
• "Measure me now, Dad - I think I'm almost as tall as you are."
• "Hey, Dad, I dare you to stick your tongue on that light pole over there — I TRIPLE DOG DARE you!"

• "You may think I look funny sitting up on on this tall snowbank. The really funny thing is that I'm actually sitting on Mom's shoulders."

More January pics

• "I'm just checking to see if any of these dust bunnies doubles as the Easter Bunny."
• "Yeah, Mom, I thought I was ready to sleep on a big boy's bed, too — guess not, huh?"
• "Mom, it's no fun when you bring along the camera when we play hide-and-seek, because you document all my best hiding places."

• "Don't you mean to say 'Carter, do you like to roll around in what USED TO BE the clean clothes fresh out of the dryer'?"
• "I thought I would dress up as a load of laundry for Halloween and I'm just trying on my costume a little early."

New Years Eve

• "Listen, hugs from an aunt are good and all, but I'm really hoping to spend time with the confetti cannons and noisemakers before I go to bed."

• "This looks like a really nice New Year's Eve meal, but I don't see a place for me!"
• "I don't have the heart to tell them I just ordered five large pizzas to be delivered — and charged it on Dad's credit card."

December 2010 — Carter in Utah: Quiet time with the Taylors

• "Grandpa, if we watch the 'Elmo had four ducks' video on YouTube one more time, I can break my all-time single-day record of 47."
• "Oh, so this is what an ESPN web page looks like that DOESN'T have any mention of the New Jersey Nets. Interesting!"
• "All these old images you have on iPhoto of what my Mom looked like when she was my age is starting to scare me."
• "You know, Grandpa, if all I had to do was lay around in bed, read books and look at the laptop, I think I could go for some back surgery myself."

• This "brown bear, brown bear, what do you see stuff?' is OK, but what I'd really like to do is be back with Grandpa in his bedroom on the laptop."
• "Come on, Auntie Bree, you can't fool me — you're just trying to get me to fall asleep for the night. There is nowhere on any of these pages that it says, 'Carter . . . you are feeling tired . . . you are getting sleepy . . . close your little eyes . . . ' "

• "No, Grandma, you've got it all wrong — the Eentsy-Weentsy Spider went like this up the waterspout."
• "Well, this is all well and good, but I'd really like to see if Grandpa is watching those Elmo videos back on his bed."

December 2010 — Carter in Utah: Kissing the sleepers

• "Okay, Taylors, let me show you again how I've learned it from Dad and Mom. You pretend you're asleep, and I pretend I'm the prince waking up with a kiss Sleeping Beauty — and Dad, in your case, I'll make an exception. The best part is that while you've had your eyes closed, I've pilfered through your pockets, wallets and purses for loose change, so I really love this game."

• "Excuse me, Auntie Bree, but I've got this really bad runny nose and am wondering if you can help me find a Kleenix after I 'wake you up' with my kiss."

• "Uhhhhh, so tired . . . can't seem to keep my eyes open . . . but must not fall asleep . . . because . . . I worry Braden will try to play the sleepy/kissy game with me."

December 2010 - hanging around

• " 'Uh, roger, Houston, Astronaut Carter Jensen here in the command module. All the systems and signals are a 'go' and we're ready for countdown to blast off on the first space mission to Mars. But, uh, wait, Houston, my Grandma's at the module door wanting to say goodbye.' "

• "Hey, Dad, there's plenty of exposed skin up front and I'm not getting any warmer. How about a re-wrap job?
• "Excuse me, but age one is NOT to early to start taking about modesty. How about some help covering up - - and get that blasted camera out of here. This ain't no free peep show!"

• "OK, let's see, that's one ornament behind the couch, one in the produce bin in the refrigerator, oh and the one in the toilet, another in the glove compartment of Grandpa's truck, that one buried out back with the tulip bulbs . . . let's see, what's another surprise I can leave everyone?"

• "During lunch last week with my stockbroker, we opted to invest in the Walt Disney Company, which together with its subsidiaries is a diversified worldwide entertainment company It's the second-largest media conglomerate in the world, behind Time Warner, and the world's seventh most valuable brands. Relative to other businesses, Disney is more insulated from the general economic . . . hey, look what happens when you touch that red stuff and I twist this green thingy!"

• "Santa Claus nothing — I believe in Elmo!"
• "Here's the thing — I thought I heard a voice in one of the packages under the tree. So I took off the bow and the wrapping and out popped Elmo! But to explain how the other five packages got opened — I got nothing."