It's an apple, Jack

• "With all five of my teeth, I ought to have this apple finished off by, say, next Thursday."
• "Hey, Dad, you may be able to make a spoon stick onto the end of your nose, but see what I'm trying."
• "Joey said last week he got a bean stuck up his nose, so I'm just going one up the food chain, if you know what I mean."
• "I'm trying to put together a 'snowman' costume for this Halloween, but my parents couldn't break down and buy me a carrot."
• "Joey said last week he got he whole fist stuck inside his mouth, so I'm just trying to one-up him, if you know what I mean."
• "Yeah, yeah, the roast pig on the spit at the luau had an apple in its mouth just like this."