Pool time is cool time

• "Just wondering, how do you turn on the jacuzzi jets?"
• "And I want the inflatable recliner here, the diving board over there and all-time access to a sipper-cup bar."
• "Actually, Mom, you can't really call this a 'swimming pool' - there isn't enough water or space to do any swimming. And it's not a 'wading pool,' either - seeing as I can't walk yet."

• "I'm Hans and he's Franz and we're here to pump you up, you girliemen you." (some of you may be too young to understand the old Dana Carvey/Kevin Nealon sketches on Saturday Night Live.)
• "I'm Georg Festrunk and this is Yortuk and we are two wild and crazy guys. My brother and I are from Czechoslovakia, even though no one can tell. We escaped during the '75 riots by throwing many rocks at a Russian tank. We ran from it to come to America. We are two swinging guys who enjoy many things and can do them all the time. We are always looking for some fox-y American girls. So now you know! Ha, ha! Don't mention it!" (some of you may be too young to understand the even older Steve Martin/Dan Aykroyd "Two Wild and Crazy Guys" sketches on Saturday Night Live.)
• "Hurry and take the photo, Mom, 'cause I've been sucking in my gut for about 30 seconds now!"
• "Yes, you could call us a 'boatload' of trouble."
• "I have this strange, new sensation — that I've been put into water without being totally naked. What's up, Mom? A new trend, or losing your touch?"

• "So, what gives? There's a huge pool over there, and we get thrown into the little plastic jobbie here."
• "Keep a forward focus. I told you before, when you're kids our age in a pool, you DON'T want to look to see what you might have left behind."