Friday, July 9, 2010

Crib notes

  • "I can see that my complaints to Mom and Dad about a total lack of headroom and leg space have once again fallen on deaf ears!"
  • "If I lay like this, I can easily invite six of my buddies over for a slumber party next weekend!"
  • "Look here, Mom and Dad, if I sleep in this corner, I still have enough room for that hi-def TV, XBox console and popcorn popper I was telling you about."
  • "This is what happens when Mom makes the end pads out of Velcro!"
  • "These prison bars won't hold me forever. If I lay like this and pretend to be asleep ... she'll come over and I can surprise her. I'll get the lady, you get the keys — OK, Mr. Paws?" (from Mitch)

Balloon boy

  • "I can't wait to get home and have Larlee suck out the helium and say something funny in a squeaky voice!
  • ""Hey, Mom and Dad! Tie another hundred or so of these balloons to my arms and I'll bet I can beat you home."
  • "You think this is fun, you ought to see me if you'd give me something that really moves around, like a puppy or a kitty!"
  • "Little boy blue come blow . . . up a balloon?" (from Mitch)
  • "If my hot outfit doesn't impress the ladies, maybe this balloon will!" (from Mitch)

Water-works REVISITED

  • "They call me MISTER BUBBLES!"
  • "I like playing in the water, splashing with all the bubbles and suds and . . . wait a minute, what do you mean about not putting any soap in this pool water?"
  • "Suit? I don't need no suit. I'm too tough for a suit. All you're gonna get is my birthday suit, so there - and don't even get me started on shoes." (from Mitch)
  • "Look, ma! I'm a Navy SEAL, going commando!" (from Mitch)

Tool time

  • "Ummm, Grandpa, I go a whole lot faster when Mom puts me the stroller for a jog."
  • "When I said I wanted to play 'NASCAR,' this isn't quite what I had in mind."
  • "We make such a great duo, we ought to sign up to compete at the ward's Pioneer Day picnic — you know, in the wheelbarrow races.
  • "I was just thinking, if we filled this up with water, I could travel in style — my own mobile swimming pool!"
  • "I may smell a little stinky right now, just don't compost me." (from Mitch)
  • "A riding lawnmower is what I asked for." (from Mitch)
  • "Take me to my room and feed me grapes." (from Mitch)

Friday, July 2, 2010

Shore 'nuff

  • "No, Aunt Larlee, I am not a 'beach baby' . . . I'm a sand-MAN!"
  • "Hey, I'm just getting a feel what it's gonna be like to have hair on my chest. OK, stubble on my chest."
  • "Sand? Chest? No, this is just the crumbs from the sand I ate." (from Mitch)
  • "Come on, Mom, how am I gonna be able to be able to chat up the babes on the beach when I've got my mother sitting right next to me?"
  • Body surfing on the sand just isn't the same, Mom. All the other boys are riding the big waves, MOM!"
  • "Watch those guys playing football farther down the beach . . . Go! Go! Go! Touchdown!"
  • "Hey, ice cream guy! Over here!"
  • "Who you calling 'crabby!' " (from Mitch, "only funny if you see his shirt")

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Park Place

Jenna posted on her blog (click here) about running in a race last weekend (see winning photo above and with the second-place finisher below). Someone commented on her blog: "That is so awesome! And winning with a baby propped on your hip. That says it all. You are AMAZING!"
Which was a fitting lead-in to a New Yorker cartoon that her mother-in-law, Lynette Jensen, forwarded along, thinking it would make for a great addition to "Carter's Revenge."
And here's what Carter would be thinking:
  • "Mom, when you said the phrase 'hip-hugger,' I didn't think you meant me."
  • "Compared to that dog, I'm kept on a real short leash."
  • "I must be flying in this run around the park -- my feet haven't hit the ground once yet."
  • "I promise I will never cry again when you try to put me in the jogging stroller!"
  • "Hey, I feel more like a runner's accessory than a baby here!"
  • "Um, Mom? If you learn to cross the finish line sideways — I WIN!" (from Mitch)

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Water-works

  • "This reminds me of a saying that my Great-Aunt Lori really likes: 'Welcome to our -ool. You'll notice there is no "P" in our -ool. Please help us keep it that way.' "
  • "Sink, bathtub, backyard pool, doesn't matter what - if there's any water, my parents are going to strip me naked, put me in and then get out the camera. ... AWKWARD!"

On the run

  • "Admit it, Mom, you just brought me along to help you watch for poison ivy, didn't you?"
  • "My stroller may say 'JEEP' on it, but it doesn't have Jeep-quality shocks — especially on these dirt roads."
  • "Mom, when you asked if I wanted to go three-wheeling, this isn't what I had in mind. I was hoping for something with a little more power and kick than . . . well, than you."
  • "Come on, Mom, five more miles! I'm not even tired." (from Mitch)

The brush-off

  • "In my case, it's more of a 'gum'-brush than a toothbrush."
  • "You know what this bathroom needs? A little signs that says 'Did you brush your teeth today?' "
  • "mmmmphf mmmmmphfmmm mmmmm phmmmphf" (from Mitch)

On guard duty


  • "This neighborhood is as dangerous as any other. Some you may have to watch out for gangs or vicious dogs. Here, you got to keep an eye out for wild turkeys and monster-sized spiders."
  • "I'z gotz antz in me pantz and I'z needs to dance." (from Mitch)