Beach baby

• "Grandma, that's called CHILD ABUSE!"
• "No, no, Grandma, please don't show me how Sayid breaks people's necks on 'Lost!' "
• "All I said was 'Hey, look at all the bikinis,' and all of a sudden, everything went dark!"
• "I know you're new at the 'grandma' thing, so let me help you — when we play peek-a-boo, we usually cover our OWN eyes, thank you very much."

Field of play

• "If only I could crawl, I could get my first grass stains on Sunday clothes."
• "I found it in the grass, I popped it in my mouth, and . . . oooh, it's still wiggling."

Who's your favorite?

• "I know this is a reversal of typical roles, but gee, Uncle Braden, you smell funny!"
• "You're so hilarious, Uncle Braden. You're just lucky you didn't say 'cat poop' while I was drinking a bottle, or I would have laughed so hard that I would have snorted milk out my nose."
• "No, I haven't seen them make a face like this on the cover of GQ, have you?"
• "I'll tell you what is cracking me up, Uncle Braden — that nobody seeing this picture will ever figure out that neither of us is wearing any pants."

Cookie capers

• "OK, Uncle Austin, a deal's a deal. You've helped me up on the counter. I'll remove the cookies, so that you can honestly say you didn't take them. We'll split them 50-50, and no one will ever believe that a seven-month-old crawled up and stole the cookies. And even if they did, all I'd have to do is give them the pout face. What a scam!"
• "Wait a minute, why am I chewing on a stuffed spider when there are cookies well within reach?"

The real 'Sports Guy'

• "This is called 'dribbling down my chin.' It takes practice."
• "Dad, getting me excited about sports like basketball and soccer is one thing. But right now, in my position, about the only sport I think I'm qualified to do is riding a skeleton sled in the Winter Olympics."
• "What? The golf ball? Ooops, I musta swallowed that one."
• "I'm not sure why, but I think my dad's pushing me to like basketball twice as much as soccer."

All keyed up

• "If I can just figure out how to attach my binky to this ring of keys, I'll be set -- at least for the next 15 years, until my folks get me my own car and set of keys."
• "I've been watching them do it for weeks now ... press to unlock the car door ... put the key into ignition and turn to start the car ... man, if only my feet could touch the gas pedal, I'd be on my way out to Utah for spring break!"
• "The thought of me driving just makes me drool all over myself."
• "What's this thing on my mom's set of car keys? ... Hmmm, I wonder what 'P-E-P-P-E-R S-P-R-A-Y' spells and what this little button is for?"

Getting strung along

• "Mom says, 'Do you want some string cheese?' I say, 'But I'm lactose-intolerant.' So this is what I get? Can't complain, though -- it's probably part of a high-fiber diet."
• "I think this is what I saw the cats do with the yarn when I was at Grandma Taylor's house in Utah a couple of weeks ago."
• "I've got my mom figured out. She's worried about me swallowing anything I stuff into my mouth, so she gives me string -- that way, if I do swallow some, she can simply pull it all out. Smart mom!"

YOUR SUGGESTIONS NEEDED HERE!

• Will smile for captions ... post yours as a comment now!

Chillin' with the old guy

• "This is cool, hanging out with Grandpa. We need to do this more often — like about every other week!"
• "Hey, wait a minute. I just realized I don't have any pants on! And you've got the camera out? What's up with that?"

You wanna pet?

• "I want one of these to take home."
• "I'm going to ask for a cat for my birthday and another one for Christmas. ... Every year!"
• "No, really, I'm going to tell my dad and mom I want a kitty. ... And if they don't get one, I bet I can talk my Grandma Taylor into sending me one from Utah to New Jersey!"