Face time

• "First I want to go to the Museum of American History ... then the Air and Space Museum ... then the Holocaust Mus —— wait, there's a merry-go-round!"
• "Listen, Grandpa, if you're gonna keep making those strange faces, I'm gonna ask to be carried by someone else!"

• "You know, Grandpa, I've almost got as much hair as you do."
• "If I could talk, I'd tell you that I don't really care for this little game of bumping foreheads."
• "Mom told me not to tell anyone, but I'll let you in on a little secret — she and I hid my last dirty diaper in Uncle Braden's backpack."

• "Ummmmm, awkward. Don't know if I want to be seen with this guy."
• "Look, Mom, Grandpa and I are doing our 'Abbott and Costello' impersonations."
• "Please, oh, please — I hope most of my male genes are coming from the Jensen side."

Back to back

• "Yeah, yeah, Uncle Braden, I've got your back."
• "This wasn't a hard sacrifice to make. Not only do I not have to look at my uncle, I get to wink at all the cute girls in the museum."

Temple trip

• "So, Uncle Braden, you couldn't get into the temple either, huh?"
• After we roll on the grass for another five minutes, then let's go splash in the water fountain."
• "Yeah, and when the camera's off and Mom's not looking, you can watch me pull another worm out of the ground and pop it in my mouth. I learned it by watching the robins, you know."

The tide is high

• "So, Mom . . . if this ocean thing here is really safe, why is it that I've been thrust between it and you?"
• "I keep telling myself, it's just a big bathtub full of water ... it's just a big bathtub full of water ..."

Beach boys

• "Hey, look everybody! I'm already taller than Uncle Braden!"
• "Yes, Braden, I know you're afraid of the water, so I'll hold on tight to you so you won't get scared."
• "Getting carried around is the best way to enjoy the beach — you don't get sand in your shoes or up your shorts. . . . or in my case, in my socks or up my diaper."

Beach baby

• "Grandma, that's called CHILD ABUSE!"
• "No, no, Grandma, please don't show me how Sayid breaks people's necks on 'Lost!' "
• "All I said was 'Hey, look at all the bikinis,' and all of a sudden, everything went dark!"
• "I know you're new at the 'grandma' thing, so let me help you — when we play peek-a-boo, we usually cover our OWN eyes, thank you very much."

Field of play

• "If only I could crawl, I could get my first grass stains on Sunday clothes."
• "I found it in the grass, I popped it in my mouth, and . . . oooh, it's still wiggling."

Who's your favorite?

• "I know this is a reversal of typical roles, but gee, Uncle Braden, you smell funny!"
• "You're so hilarious, Uncle Braden. You're just lucky you didn't say 'cat poop' while I was drinking a bottle, or I would have laughed so hard that I would have snorted milk out my nose."
• "No, I haven't seen them make a face like this on the cover of GQ, have you?"
• "I'll tell you what is cracking me up, Uncle Braden — that nobody seeing this picture will ever figure out that neither of us is wearing any pants."

Cookie capers

• "OK, Uncle Austin, a deal's a deal. You've helped me up on the counter. I'll remove the cookies, so that you can honestly say you didn't take them. We'll split them 50-50, and no one will ever believe that a seven-month-old crawled up and stole the cookies. And even if they did, all I'd have to do is give them the pout face. What a scam!"
• "Wait a minute, why am I chewing on a stuffed spider when there are cookies well within reach?"

The real 'Sports Guy'

• "This is called 'dribbling down my chin.' It takes practice."
• "Dad, getting me excited about sports like basketball and soccer is one thing. But right now, in my position, about the only sport I think I'm qualified to do is riding a skeleton sled in the Winter Olympics."
• "What? The golf ball? Ooops, I musta swallowed that one."
• "I'm not sure why, but I think my dad's pushing me to like basketball twice as much as soccer."