Turkey time

• "More turkeys? What's the name of this street? Norbest drive? Pilgrim Pride Place?"
• "What's my Uncle Braden doing over there by the tree in that yard?"
• "Sorry, Mom, but seeing turkeys, owls, dogs and cats in the Marlboro neighborhood is a far cry from visiting the San Diego Wild Animal Park. But nice try anyway."
• "Hey, you jive turkey, what be goin' dooown?" (from Mitch)

Sweet dreams

• "Hmmmmm. I'm thinking it feels like it's about 5:45 AM -- or in other words, time to wake up!"
• "Dreaming ... of my next ... trip ... to Utah."
• "Don't you hate it when you wake up and you've got morning-binky breath?"
• "Is that bacon I smell coming from the kitchen?" I love a breakfast of oatmeal, bacon and strained peas."
• "This bed is soooo nice . . . next thing you know, they're going to have me laying short-ways in a crib with a stuffed dog." (from Mitch)

Splash-down

• "Mom and Dad, when you said we'd be having fun in the water this summer, I was thinking 'water park' or 'swimming pool,' not this."
• "How do you expect me to cool off or learn how to swim? The water doesn't stay; it keeps falling through the cracks?"
• "I'd try to get a drink out of the hose, but the water won't stay still."
• "Awesome — water . . . time to get naked!" (from Mitch)

Staying a-head

• "Go ahead and feel it, Dad - I'm just nine months old and I already have more hair on top of my head than my Grandpas!"
• "See, Dad - I AM taller than you are!"
• "Mom forgot to put sunscreen on me right here!"
• "Hey, dad, why is everyone calling you 'Brother White'?" (from Mitch)

In the driver's seat

• "Still ... can't ... quite ... see ... over ... dashboard!"
• "Yeah, Dad, this is how Mom drives -- one hand on the steering wheel, and one on the horn. And, yes, she knows how to use that horn."
• "Me and Joey down the street have got it figured out -- I work the ignition and steering wheel, he works the gas and brake pedals, and we're down the road to the nearest Wal-Mart to check out the latest in Fisher-Price toys."
• "Whenever my safety-minded Dad needs to check his text messages in the car, he pulls over and leaves the driving to me."
• "I'd let Joey drive, but he can't while using the cell phone." (from Mitch)

My name is CAR-ter!

• "Something's not right here, but I'm not sure ... Blimey! The steering wheel's on the wrong side of the car."
• "No roof, no doors, no seat belts -- this car is just a safety nightmare."
• "Can I have it, please? Can I take it home with me?"
• "All I need is a pair of fuzzy dice hanging from the rear-view mirror and I'm all set to go cruisin' for babes!"
• "Yeah, Dad, this is how Mom steers the car when she drives. Do you want to hear the names she calls the other drivers, too?"
• "Ummm, can I get a BIGGER car, please — one where I can stand on the seat and barely see over the dash? One with a REAL horn?" (from Mitch)

Happy face

• "Grandpa just booked us two more trips to Utah this year? Sweeeeeeet!"
• "The New Jersey Nets have a new coach and I have a new voice coach to help me learn how to talk. And the funny thing is -- it's the same person, Avery Johnson!"
• "I'm practicing on my best 'I want a pet' face."
• "Hey, this doodle chair hasn't even been started! Can I get a marker and maybe some chocolate?" (from Mitch)

LOL

• "Yeah, I saw that Dad was going to step into that, but rather than say something, I wanted to see what happened. And it was worth it, wasn't it, Mom?"
• "If you think that's funny, here's another joke Uncle Braden taught me."

• " 'Be one with the camera.' And that, dear Mother, is the motto for my future career in modeling."
• "No, you look at the bird — I'm too stylin'. I'm a poser. I am a ladies man!" (from Mitch)

How sweep it is!

• "OK, Mom, I've dusted, done the laundry, vacuumed and just now swept -- and now you want me to give you a foot rub?"
• "Some guys say they have a need for speed ... I need room to broom."
• x
• "Here, spider, spider . . . here, spider, spider." (from Mitch)

Food for thought

• "Hey, Mom, ever heard of a bowl?"
• "You know, we could blame this mess on the puppy -- if we had a puppy. How about it? It would take some pressure off me."
• "I'd love to help you vacuum this up, but I can't reach the handle. Heck, I can't even stand up yet."
• "Yes, folks -- look at the previous post below. See a trend here?"